I Wish You Knew: Rewrite
by A is for Angel
Summary: How do you cope when your husbands miles away fighting for your country? How do you cope raising six children with another on the way? Read to find out! AH
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Rewriting this story and changing it up! Thank you to pandoras box is heavy for being an amazing help. And helping me realize I can be an amazing writer**

**Follow me on twitter at aisforangel**

**Read, Review and Enjoy!**

**Prologue**

I wish you knew how much I love you. I wish you knew how much our children love you. I wish you knew how much we're struggling without you. I wish you knew how much I love you. I wish you knew how badly I wanted you here with me to take the pregnancy test. I wish you knew how I sit up and cry for hours every night wishing you safe, and wishing you home. I wish you knew how I wear the colors red white and blue with my head held high, because my husband is away fighting for our country. I just wish how badly you knew.

**A/N: Review and let me know what you think**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Follow me on twitter at aisforangel! Read, Review and Enjoy!**

**Pov: Isabella Marie Masen**

Hello, my name is Isabella Marie Masen, and you could say my life is pretty hectic. My husband Edward Anthony Masen is a commanding officer in the Marine Corp. He is currently on a mission which has him far away from Forks, Washington and far away from myself and our six children.

Which now I can't believe I'm pregnant with our seventh child. We've always wanted a big family, but I wouldn't have guessed that I have to do it alone. Don't get me wrong I love everything about my family, but each new day brings about new struggles. Edward's family tries to help, but I'd rather do it alone, so my failures as a mother doesn't add fuel to the fire of my mother in law who hates me.

Each morning with each child my three girls and three boys brings new troubles. Lily, Jasmine and Christina want to wear the latest fashions. While Ej, Nathan and Julian want to be little men of the house. I love the gift that god has brought me, with more life than I could ever give.

I love the life my husband has worked hard for and has created for us. But I wish he knew I would give it all back if I could just have him here in my arms safe and sound. I don't just want to see him once a year for Christmas and send letters, emails and Skype everyday. I miss my husband terribly. I just wish he knew how much. I wish he knew how much I feel and love him with every new passing day.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Read and Review**

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**Pov: Isabella Marie Masen**

I wish you knew how badly your mother treats me. I wish you knew how good her acting skills are. When her precious son is around your mother acts if I'm the very best thing that has happened to you. Bullshit from the very first moment you were deployed your mother blamed me for the career decision you made in your life.

I wish you knew how your aunt Esme has taken me under her wing. I wish you knew how much Esme Cullen has done for this family. I wish you knew how much of a god send and a wonderful woman Esme Cullen is. I wish you knew how much and how badly I need you right now. I wish you knew that I'm at my breaking point. I wish you knew that I left Forks and I'm never coming back

**A/N: Review and please let me know what you think**

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own a thing it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: I am hoping you like this story**

**Follow me on twitter at aisforangel which is a good way to come say hi**

**and my blog which the link is on my profile**

**Pov: Bella**

I wish you knew how badly we needed a new car. I wish you knew that I'm in the shadiest neighborhood in Forks. I wish in this moment that you knew how scared I am. I wish that you knew that the locks in the car don't work. I wish you knew how badly I needed you to hold me and protect me.

Baby, I just wish you knew that some guys are breaking into the car right now. I wish you could hear how loudly I screamed to get someones attention anyone's. Being a marine's wife I was taught how to protect myself and my family. Since my husband was gone and anyway.

He said it was "In case for anything to happen while I'm away." Now in this moment I thank my husband for always looking out for me. No matter where he is I know that I'm always on his mind and in his heart. I wish he knew that in this moment though I forgot all that he has ever taught me. I wish you knew that I let myself to be dragged from the car in order to protect our newborn child. I wish you knew where I out our wills is the last thing I remember before I welcome the darkness around me.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Review as an early Birthday present please**

**Pov: Bella**

Standing in the meadow with my husband is all I've ever wished for since he was deployed. The meadow has been a special place for us, since we were kids. The moment when Edward proposed to me is a day that I remember everyday. Everyday I wish he knew what affect he had on me and my sanity.

_Flashback_

"_Will you take the blind fold off of me, and tell me where your taking me?" "No, because we will be there in two seconds and then you can finally see the special surprise I have for you." What felt like hours later, but was only minute was Edward taking the stupid blind fold off of me. _

_As soon as my eyes got use to the light I gasped, because there before me was Edward my boyfriend down on one knee surrounded by rose petals and tea candles. What put the tears to my eyes was thousands of butterflies flying around the meadow. Before I could even utter a word Edward spoke and silenced me with his charm._

_ "Bella, my Isabella, my Angel I know with my career choice I am asking a lot of you, but sweetie I love you with every fiber of my being. And I want you to be happy and I want you in my future. Will you marry me and be my wife, my life partner, my best friend?_

_End Flashback_

Before I could finish imaging one of the days that tied me forever to my love I was jolted out of the darkness by freezing cold water being thrown on me. "Wakey, wakey you've been out for three days, and it's time for you to eat so you can do your chores." A tall man said before he slammed the door of the crammed dark room.

_A couple of hours later_

It's been three days my love I wish you knew where I was. I wish that you had superpowers that knew my every position and place I was at. I've never been so scared in my life Edward. I feel as if I'm now alone and I'll die and rot here. No one will ever come for me. I wish you knew how unsafe I feel. I wish you knew how long and hard I've prayed for the last couple of hours. I pray and think of you to get through the tortuous moments without you. I wish you knew how much I love you. I wish you knew that I can't take living without you much longer.

**A/N: Review and let me know what you think**

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	6. Edward

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Read, Review and tell me what you think**

**Pov: Commanding Officer Edward Anthony Masen**

I wish you knew, my love, how hard it was for me to deploy. I wish that you knew that I think of you every moment of everyday. I wish that you pleaded and begged for me not to deploy. I wish you knew how much I love you baby girl. I hope you know that I appreciate every little single thing you do.

I just hope one day we can be a real family again. I wish you knew that our love is strong, and imagine me holding you every minute of every hour of every day. I wish that you knew that I have eyes and ears in Forks. I wish that you knew that I'm coming for you Angel.

**A/N:Review**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my birthday tomorrow it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

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**Pov: Bella**

I wish you knew how much more I can take. The days are starting to blur together. I wish you were here take away the pain. I remember like it was yesterday the way you took care of me when I broke my ankle during junior. I wish you knew that you're the master of taking pain away. I wish you were here to hold me in my greatest time of need. I wish you knew that the baby kicked for the first time in this dark, cramped room. I wish you knew how I terrified I am. I wish you knew that my love for you takes away all the pain. I wish you knew to keep my love strong and the pain weak I drift into the darkness and imagine you against my body holding me tight and making slow and sweet love to me.

**A/N: Review as a birthday present?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it all goes to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Let me know what you think! Follow me on twitter at aisforangel**

**Pov: Bella **

I wish you knew that the darkness is the safest possible place that I can be right now. Some would say that the darkness is scary, but I wish you knew that my life is a scary place without you. I wish you knew that back when you first deployed I always use to turn off all the lights, curl in a ball and pray that you were safe. For one day I wish that the roles were changed. I wish you knew how much I hate you for leaving me in this situation. I wish you knew how much I still love you too. I wish you knew that I took my rings off and put them around my neck with the heart necklace you gave me on our tenth wedding anniversary. I wish you knew that even in the darkest, scariest of places I always keep you with me.

**A/N: Follow me on twitter at aisforangel**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Read, Enjoy and Review**

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**I posted pictures of the story on my blog link is on my profile**

**Pov: Bella**

I wish you knew that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to fight off my captures. I'm sorry I wasn't enough of a wife and mother. I wish that you knew how badly are children need us right now. Hell I need you right now. There are moments in life that we take for granted. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish you knew who your mother truly is. I wish that you knew how truly sorry I am for what I'm about to do.

**A/N: Review, Sorry for the cliff hanger**

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	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

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**Pov: Bella**

I wish you knew that we all do things in life that we are not proud of. I wish that you knew I did what I did to save myself and our little miracle. I wish that you could have seen how brave I was. But, baby on the inside I was terrified. Where were you when I needed you? You promised me that you would never let anything happened to me. You promised me that you would be with me whenever I was in danger. I wish you knew that all your promises seem so full of shit. I wish you knew that one of my captures is laying on the floor with shallow breathing. I wish you knew that the blood on the floor I can't figure out if it's mine or his.

**A/N: Review **

**Find the pictures on my blog**

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	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Follow me on twitter at aisforangel! Check out the pictures of the story on my blog. Link is on my profile. Read and Enjoy!**

**Pov: Bella**

I wish you knew how much trouble I got in from the other captor. Once he saw his friend lying on the floor bleeding I was taken to a smaller room with no windows, lights or air conditioning. I wish you knew that I don't blame you for what's happening. I wish you knew how much I love you. I wish you knew that everything is in your name. I wish you knew that the darkness is more comforting than literally holding myself together wishing that you would come to rescue me. I wish you knew that each day I wish you knew that my love for you will never change my love, but I can't do this anymore.

**A/N: Review please**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing it all goes to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Sorry about the update fail real life is complicated at the moment but I promise to finish all the stories I write. Follow me on twitter at aisforangel. Follow my blog the link is on my profile!**

**Pov: Bella**

Some say life is a give a precious one that is given to people all over the world. People of different cultures, styles, personalities and different souls. I wish you knew how much I valued my life. I wish you knew that the moment our child is born my life will be meaningless. I wish you knew that our family is precious. I wish you knew what my plan is. Or do you?

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	13. Esme

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

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**Pov: Esme**

I wish you knew nephew how badly your wife and children need you. I wish I would have told you sooner of your mother's plan. I wish you knew how sorry I am, but I was and I am scared for my own life. I wish you knew what your mother is capable of. I wish you knew how to protect your children from thousands of miles away. I wish you knew that all of our lives are in danger.

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	14. Elizabeth

**Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. The hurricane hit and we just got internet back. I have a couple chapters written. Follow me on twitter to talk and tell me to update. Aisforangel is my twitter name.**

**Pov: Elizabeth**

I wish you knew how badly it hurts me when everyone compares me to my sister. "Elizabeth why can't you be like your sister? Try harder! You're never going to make it in this world if you aren't more like Esme." Every conversation I have with my parents turn into an argument, because they compare and want me to be exactly like Esme.

They've been complaining and asking for fifty five years. I wish you knew that I overheard the conversation you had with your aunt. I remember the day like it was yesterday.

**Flashback**

"_I'm home! I can't wait to tell you guys all that I bought and found out today. You're gonna love the next place I booked for the family vacation. "Aunt Esme why can't you be my mother? All my mother cares about is where the next big luncheon is going to be." "Now sweetie please don't talk about your mother that way. You know you don't mean that. _

_You love her. But please know I wish that I was your mother too. I hate the way your mother doesn't care for you, and love you the way I could have and do. _

_**End Flashback**_

I wish that you knew that I did what I did to get my son back. To let my son know that I am his mother. And no one not anyone is going to take him away.

**A/N: Review and let me know what you think. I have a couple of chapters written. **

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	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Review! Follow me on twitter at aisforangel**

**Pov: Esme**

I wish you knew why I never told you. I never loved you any less than the day you were born. I wish that you knew how much it pained me to act like I was never your mother, but your aunt. I was never your mother,but your aunt. I wish you knew that I'm doing anything I can to get your family back together. I wish you knew how peaceful the darkness is. I wish you knew where Elizabeth has us locked up.

**A/N: Review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: Happy New Year! Read, Review! And follow me on twitter at aisforangel to say hi! And to kick my butt for updating!**

**Pov: Isabella Marie Masen**

I wish you knew how I remember your first deployment.

_Flashback_

"_Bella! Come on I can't be late! You knew this day was coming so stop trying to stall." Yes, true I knew this day was coming, but who wants it to. I mean come on my husband is deploying. I have a newborn and a mother in law that hates my guts._

_ The last thing I was truly thinking about is my husband leaving me for god knows how long. But I love my husband more than anything, so I put on a brave face. Left our bedroom and walked straight to the car. Edward was driving his Volvo for the last time. Then I was to drive our car back home, and drive it while he was away._

The first deployment was always the hardest for me. Before Edward got on the plane he bent down so we eye to eye and said. "I love you more than my own life Isabella Marie Masen. So you better take care of yourself and our little angel. I am not asking you! I am ordering you to stay strong, and remember I will always come back to you and find you baby girl." With his words all I could do was nod my head, and pull out the letter I wrote for him. Tell him I love him, and to read the letter on the plane. 

_With that I turn and walk straight back to the car. When I got I put the baby in the car seat, got in the front seat and started sobbing. _

_End Flashback_

Being captured and not knowing if I'll never see you again. Makes me wish even harder for you to find me. I wish you knew that I'm trying to so hard to hold on to each memory we've had and made together.

My love, I wish you knew that every letter I wrote for you before you left for deployment came from the heart. I wish that you knew how hard my life is without you. But I especially wish that you knew how I wish to be without you no longer.

If you do not come for me in three days I hope you know that I love you and our children more than my own life. I wish you to know that this isn't goodbye. It's a see you later.

**A/N: Review! Let me know if you want an outtake of the first deployment letter and the letters after that. Follow me on twitter at aisforangel!**


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